Virtual Support Group

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Treatment for Paruresis is based on a concept known as “gradual exposure therapy”. The ultimate goal is to become comfortable voiding in close proximity to others. To test this theory, for two days we binged on bottled water and practiced peeing in a variety of environments. Las Vegas is riddled with challenging scenarios, as there is no escaping the constant hustle and bustle of people. If you can ace peeing at a urinal in a packed casino restroom, there’s a good chance you can transcend paruresis.

As paruretics we learn to accommodate so our day to day lives are less affected, until things change. Maybe it is a new job, moving to a new city, or having to travel that initiates the obsession of – where will I pee? how will I pee? This summer, I grew tired of obsessing and decided to invest in myself and attend the Vegas workshop.

My struggle with shy bladder has pushed me to be a person of action. 10 years ago, I dreamed of doing something awesome to culminate the end of my Air Force career. It wasn’t the standard thing to do and would put me in a situation well outside my comfort zone. Which happens to be exactly what graduated exposure does. Four days after I retired from the Air Force, I set out on a backpacking trip from the US and Mexico border near Lordsburg New Mexico to the eastern part of Yellowstone National Forest in Wyoming along the Continental Divide Trail (CDT).

I’m a documentary maker by trade, and I thought this would be a fun and worthwhile side project that would also help keep me accountable in my recovery process. And maybe the film itself would lead to a better, more nuanced understanding of paruresis in the wider world.

93% of humankind does not have paruresis and has been using public bathrooms for their entire lives, from grammar school through university and then in offices/workplaces during their professional careers. These 93% have been practicing daily without knowing they were practicing.

In the following I will present my personal impressions of a workshop visit and then describe how I coped with my paruresis after the workshop. Possibly it will serve as an “inspiration” for the one or the other person concerned to design a personal “training program”.

[Julia attended our Virtual Workshop on August 12, 2023, led by IPA President Dan Rocker. She shared these thoughts prior to the workshop, and kindly followed-up with her post-workshop reaction. If you are considering attending any IPA workshop, you’ll find her comments valuable.

Greetings fellow members. The following is an edited and expanded version of a text I had sent to two board members upon my return from a trip abroad. Given the length of the flight, weeks prior to my journey I was feeling apprehensive.