FTF Method Airplane Bathroom

During the recovery from a surgery, it was required that I had to wear an adult diaper for a few weeks; and as an unexpected gift, I discovered it was quite helpful with my Paruresis. Even after the recovery, when I knew I would be in situations in which a public bathroom was not going to be convenient (such as riding on a Metro Train or attending a long meeting) wearing and using an adult diaper seemed to lessen my anxiety about being pee shy and living daily life calmed down a lot for me.

And yet, the worst episodes of my particular condition of being a person with Paruresis, always appeared when trying to relieve myself in an airplane bathroom. At 30,000 feet and in such a contained space, I have not been able to pee into the small airplane toilet. I have tried all the known techniques; selecting a seat near the airplane bathrooms, carrying with me a portable catheter, attempting the breath- holding technique, anti-anxiety pills, (etc.) without any success.

A few months ago, I had to travel to a family event from LA to the east coast and back. This was a 6-hour trip going east and a 6 ½ hour trip returning west. So, I wore the adult diaper on the airplane, and I brought my portable catheter as my ultimate back-up. An hour into the flight heading east I felt I had to go to the bathroom. I stood in front of the bathroom toilet and I could not go. (A misfire!) When I returned to my assigned seat, I felt increasing anxiety, and so I tried peeing into the adult diaper I was wearing while sitting down and it did not work this time. I knew I would have to defer to my back-up or the portable catheter. Two hours into the flight I carried my catheter case into the airplane bathroom intending to give it a try. But first, I tried peeing again into the toilet itself. No success. And I really did not want to use that catheter. That is when something shifted in me, something just surrendered. I went to a place in me that I can only call “getting to the end of my rope!”

Standing straight up and away from the toilet I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and I said to myself “Steve, you have to figure this out and now!” And that is when something new happened. The words came to me “Feel The Flow.” I went “what?” And again, I heard the words “Just Feel the Flow!!!”
And, so I reached my left hand down to a position to “Feel The Flow.” And I started to pee! Surprisingly I found myself peeing freely in an airplane bathroom for the first time in 15 + years!

Here is the FTF Method I Use

1. It requires wearing an adult diaper as the receptacle for the urine, rather than using the toilet or urinal. You can practice peeing into one of these adult diapers in the privacy of your own home or in any setting in which you feel safe and comfortable.

2. When entering the airplane bathroom do not think about or consider peeing into the small toilet there. Just stand up straight and look at yourself in the mirror above the sink. Leaning backwards and relaxing against the wall is even better.

3. Lower your pants and pull the adult diaper down a little bit (about 2 inches) to give it some space. Just enough so that the adult diaper is still able to catch the urine. Use your right hand to hold the diaper in place.

4. Then, use your left hand by putting the fingertips of your left hand about 1 ½ inches below the point of peeing.

5. And then whisper to yourself or think the words “Feel The Flow!” Say or think these exact words a few times over and over.

6. Within 15 to 60 seconds the pee starts to flow. As you will feel the pee hitting your fingertips on its way to falling into the adult diaper.

7. Wash your hands thoroughly.

On this flight to the east coast I tried this method (The FTF Method) 3 more times, it worked every time, and I was able to fully relieve myself. And it worked even as two stewardesses were talking loudly right outside the bathroom door.

On my return flight back to the west coast I attempted this same method. It took a little longer to start, but it worked. I was able to pee freely 3 to 4 times on the return flight with complete success each time.
And, a few months later, my wife and I flew from LAX to JFK which should have been a 5 ½ hour flight. Because of severe rainstorms, the timing-out and replacement of both the flight captain and his co-captain, having to land at Baltimore Airport along the way because JFK had been temporarily closed, etc., the total time we were on this one airplane was “11 ½ hours.” We could have flown from LA to Berlin in that time. And, during this flight I must have visited every bathroom on that plane at least twice and had no problem peeing using my method. The adult diaper was the actual hero on that flight and after landing I tossed it into the trash at the airport bathroom at JFK.

In conclusion, this “Feel The Flow” method of feeling the flow of pee with my fingertips seems to work every time.

Steven Weinraub IPA Board Member October, 2019